Co-living is different from a homestay, as I define co-living as someone being assigned a private room. However, each person shares a common “living space”.” This living space might include washers, dryers, dishwashers, etc. (Really, just think of co-living as a combination of a hostel and a hotel.)

Now, I will be honest. Out of all the living arrangements on this page, this was one of the two I have never utilized. So, I asked my friend, Kit, about her experience in coliving. (Thanks for doing this, Kit!)

• What are the pros/cons of co-living from someone who has lived it?

In my opinion, a positive co-living experience hinges on many things, and most of them are outside of your control. I moved into co-living when I relocated to a new city. In the frantic scramble of finding a job, the grocery store with the best deals, and the best spot for happy hour drinks, it was nice to come home to a place pre-lived in. Our pantry was stocked with that one spice you use two times a year for that one dish. There was a row of appliances lined up on the kitchen counter: toaster, mixer, air fryer, and the coffee maker. Someone had even already bought a twenty-four pack of toilet paper and a twelve pack of paper towels. (Communal goods that I would eventually pay for, but it was one less than I had to worry about.)

For a bit (far longer that I’d wish to admit), I didn’t know anyone outside of my roommates. They unknowingly offered a built-in source of human connection, one that I sorely needed. After several months, I got a job that allowed me to telework. And although it was nice to work from the privacy of my room, it felt even better to occasionally travel to the kitchen for water cooler conversations with other housemates taking a fifteen-minute break from their own jobs. It was almost a little slice of office culture that seemed to have died during the pandemic. 

Yet, there are numerous cons that shouldn’t be overlooked. My house sleeps ten people. Whenever someone moves out, my landlord finds a new person to fill their gap. This takes the pressure off the current housemates. (Our name is not on the lease, and we won’t be required to pay for the empty room.) However, we also don’t get to evaluate the new tenant. All we know is that they can pay their rent. 

Also, if you’re someone who values a high-standard of cleanliness, co-living quickly becomes messy. It’s important to remember that the people you live with aren’t necessarily friends that you visit. Dishes left in the sink for a few days, hair on the shower wall, and loud music coming from rooms at night are going to happen. However, there is not always an easy way to say, “Please, for the love of God, clean up after yourself. I am not your maid, and we have fruit flies.”

Finally, there is the kitchen. If everyone wants to cook dinner at the same time, you’re screwed. Everyone bought groceries yesterday in order to cook tonight’s dinner, but you cannot find room in the one fridge for a bottle of wine and a pre-made salad? You’re screwed. Did you purchase nonstick pans, but have a housemate who grew up washing everything in the dishwasher? You’re really screwed because you have to speak up. Whether it be the shower conversation or the non-stick pans, conversations are all dependent on the personalities living in the house. (And that can be very hard to control.)

In summary, co-living: Type-A personalities need not apply. 

• What is one thing that you were not prepared for in regards to co-living?

More than anything, I wasn’t prepared for people moving in two ways. 

#1 The Noise

When I moved-in, I thought, “Well, it’s the city. There’s going to be a lot of noise. I’ve lived in cities before, so I’ll adjust.” 

BUT there’s nothing more disturbing to your sleep than the girl in the nearby room deciding to take a shower at midnight. Or the boy on the first floor needing water and a snack at 2 AM. I am constantly waking up due to slammed doors and loud voices in the kitchen. Based on how thin the walls and floors are, I probably know more about my roommate’s lives than they’d want me to. 

#2 Lease Lengths

We are all on different leases. I am about to move out while someone else just renewed for a year. Since starting my time in co-living, six people have moved out and another six have moved in. Those who remain are constantly reminding the new tenants the House Rules. But calling them rules sounds so draconian, so we call them customs (i.e. please refill the ice tray, please close the gate behind you, please lower the toilet seat, etc, etc.)

I have no doubt, when I leave, my old housemates will tell the new resident both “Well, the person who used to have your room would always do x, which we liked.” Also, “Thank god you don’t do y, which is what the old tenant of this room did.

• What would you compare this lifestyle to?
  

On good nights, I love where I live. It feels like a hostel as there is an activity that involves alcohol maybe once a week, someone is always leaving for fun weekend activities and vacations that you’ll hear about later, and you find yourself occasionally having deep conversations with a housemate into the early morning. 

Some nights, I look around my room and realize that this is it. (And I don’t even own the room.) Co-living sometimes feels like living in a horrific PETA commercial. My miniscule room sometimes feels like a chicken cage (the one that most chicken farmers stopped using.) I am sure that you’ve seen the videos where chickens are locked in their cages 24/7, and their feet and body awkwardly grow because they never get to stretch.